I picture you
by Bekness
Summary: What I think should've happened with Callie and Arizona at the end of 12x16
**Hey everyone I wanted to write my own ending to 12x16. I hated how Callie chose Penny, if you can't tell I don't like Penny, I'm Calzona all the way.
I always thought if Sophia was brought into the ER it would be a way for Callie and Arizona to get back together not for Callie to want to move her relationship on with Penny.  
Sorry it's so long, I started writing what was meant to be about 1000 words but ended about 4500 because the more I wrote the more I wanted to get out.  
Hope you like it**

After one of the most hardest days of this year, Arizona finally finished her shift and sat down for the first time all day, well more like collapsed on the couch in the attending's lounge and taking off her prosthetic. The day's events replaying themselves in her mind, first April ignoring her, which she knew was fair, she broke her trust and all Arizona could do was wait and hope she'll be forgiven.

Next she got the page she'd always been dreading, her daughter was in the ER, she raced to her bedside just as Penny, Perfect Pretty Penny, finished stitching her up, she had sat with her daughter for nearly half an hour before she was told by said daughter that she had to go back to work and help the tiny humans and that she would be fine now. She had taken the elevator up to the roof, planning on smoking the cigarette that's always in her white coat to calm down but after remembering a promise she had made to her once wife she placed it back in her pocket and just stood there, watching the world go by.

About 15 minutes later she got another page, but this one from Wilson letting her know the results they were waiting for had come in. As she was looking over them Penny, or Triple P as she thinks of her in her head, pops up out of nowhere going on about her being Sophia's mother and that she understands why she won't let Callie introduce her to their daughter. After snapping at her, telling her that she has never said such a thing and walking off, she couldn't help but feel the little flutter of her heart as she thought that Callie hasn't introduced Sophia to Penny because maybe, just maybe she's not ready for that, that maybe Callie doesn't want Penny to become "Mommies Girlfriend", that maybe, and this is just wishful thinking, that Callie might still see them, Callie Arizona and Sophia, as a family and that she doesn't want Penny any part of that.  
But then she happens to walk by the X-Ray room and see Callie in there, and thought about how once again she was put in the middle of someone else's relationship problems and she's over it, she's already made one mistake and has lost her best friend, the only person that was there for her over the years and she's not making another, so she confronts Callie, tells her that she's fine with Penny meeting Sophia and walking off. She knows it's a lie, she doesn't want them to meet, doesn't want her daughter to fall in love with Triple P, just like everyone else seems to. She doesn't want to pick up Sophia and hear about all her adventures with her Mommy and Penny, she doesn't want to drop her off to Penny because Callie has just ran to the shop and she definitely doesn't want Penny to become a mother figure to her daughter. But as always, well since after their separation, she tells Callie what Callie wants to hear, what will make her happy because if there is one thing Arizona knows is that she wants Callie to be happy.

Tears started running down her cheeks as she thought of the next part of her day, it started by her going to see Sophia, Bailey sent her a message saying she was being discharged, Kayla's mom had gone home and she was sitting by herself. She had sat with her daughter for a while waiting on Callie but after nearly half an hour she got DeLuca to sit with her while she went to see where Callie was. She was just about to walk around the corner to the Ortho reception when she heard Callie and Bailey talking, she could see the picture Bailey was talking about, imaging her little girl scoring the winning goal, leading her team to a gold and when Bailey mentioned who do you see cheering with you, she pictured Callie, pictured Callie picking her up, spinning her around and kissing her hard. Her heart beat faster at the image and when she took a peak behind the corner and saw Callie just standing there, a slight frown on her face and when it looked like she figured it out she smiled, her Calliope Torres smile and Arizona couldn't help but hope that Callie was picturing the same thing she was. She wanted to go over to her and tell her what she pictured but just as she was about to take a step she got a message from DeLuca that Sophia wanted her.  
As she sat by Sophia's bedside once more she couldn't help but have a smile on her face, to others it would look like a mother smiling at her over excited daughter but really it was because her heart was filled with hope, hope that finally after 2 years the love of her life will return to her. She saw Sophia look behind her and smile, when she turned she couldn't help but smile too, a big toothy dimple popping smile as Callie was walked towards them.

"Thanks for sitting with her, I had one patient I had to check on then had to get changed. I know you've got patients you need to check on" Arizona quickly looked over to her daughter, hoping her body wouldn't give away how anxious she was

"It was no problem, I love stealing as much time as I can with my little girl" she picked up her daughters shoe and puts them on for her "what are you guys doing now?"

"I was thinking we might get some ice cream for how brave someone was today. I was thinking maybe…" Callie paused causing Arizona to look up at her, her heart beating wildly, praying that she was about to be asked to join, praying that Callie finally chose her

"Thinking what?" she manages to get out, Callie looks around and steps closer to her, whispering softly so Sophia wouldn't hear

"I was thinking about what we talked about earlier, about introducing a certain someone to you know who" she said nodding towards their daughter. In that moment Arizona felt her heart break all over again, she knew she shouldn't have gotten her hopes up. She quickly schooled her features, placing a fake smile on her face before nodding and turning to say goodbye to her daughter. She watched them leave, watched them wait for Perfect Pretty Penny and watched them walk away together. She turned on the spot and made her way to where she is now, sitting on the attending's lounge, crying her eyes out.

"Robbins? You ok?" she quickly looked up, so deep in thought she didn't hear Bailey come in, she wipes away her tears to no use, more just kept falling

"Fine, thanks" she grabs her prosthesis and goes to put it on, a hand on hers stops her

"Now, tell me the truth" Bailey looks into her eyes, her 'don't give me shit' face on and Arizona can't help but tell her everything about her day and by the end she's curled up in the Chiefs side, bawling her eyes out. 10 minutes later she sits up

"I'm so sorry about that" she wipes away what tears she can

"It's ok. Can I ask you a question though?" Bailey asks as she passes her the tissue box, at Arizonas nod she continues "I thought you were over Callie?" at that Arizona can't help but laugh, and laugh hard she did, she even snorted

"I will never be over Calliope Torres, I once told her that I would love her for the rest of my life and I will tell her that every day, but I don't have the right to anymore but doesn't mean I still can't feel it" she laughs and blows her nose

"But what about Trivia night with Richard?"

"Just because I still love Callie, doesn't mean I don't get lonely. I know I will never fully fall in love with someone again because my heart belongs to her but at the moment I'm having fun and maybe one day I might be able to find someone that I can settle with" she fiddles with her shirt as she waits for Bailey to say something

"Oh Arizona" Bailey pulls her in for a hug again "You can't live like that"

"What else am I supposed to do? I can't keep being this lonely. I purposely sleep in my office the week I don't have Sophia or am going out with Richard or lady of the week" she leans into Baileys side, feeling a little weird because just yesterday she was angry with her

"You need to talk to Torres"

"What no!" Arizona sits up "she's happy, her happiness is the most important thing to me and if her picturing herself and Penny watching Sophia kick the winning goal is what makes her happy then that's what's going to happen, I just have to learn to live with this, I've done it for two years and I can do it for the rest of my life. I made my bed 4 years ago and now I have to live with it. I was in a plane crash, I lost a leg, I thought she didn't love me and took it out on her, I cheated, I lost our baby and now I have to live with the vision every night of her walking out of that therapists office and I have to live with waking up every morning and reaching for her. So no I can't talk to Calliope because I made a mistake that ruined my life but has seemed to have improved hers and she's happy which is all I've ever wanted for her." She grabs her leg and starts putting it on, the tears running down her face making it harder

"Why did you think she didn't love you" Bailey asks while helping with the straps, there was a pause in conversation as Arizona thought about if she really wanted to open all this up to Bailey, but after realising she's told her almost everything anyway she continued

"Do you remember the sinkhole?" Bailey nodded "that night when Callie got home we talked about it, she told me that that man couldn't cut off his wives leg because he loved her too much"

"And then a year later Callie made the call to cut yours off" the shorter woman interrupted

"No, no one told me Alex was the one who made the cut, I always thought it was Callie, I always thought she didn't love me enough. If someone had told me she only made the call, I wouldn't have been that angry, she made the call that saved my life, but for almost 2 years I thought she cut it off, I thought she stood over me in the operating theatre with a bone saw and took me leg. It wasn't until the plane crash last year did I know the truth, and her reason for not telling me was because she wanted me to have someone, have Alex to turn to! That's bullshit, I needed my wife, I needed her love, everything she did after I got out of hospital I thought she was just doing it because she felt guilty she took my leg, that the only reason she stuck around was because I was disabled, that every time she looked at me she thought of me laying on the table as she sawed away at my leg. I thought she did it all out of obligation and not out of love" Arizona shouted as she stood up, her head hurt, her leg hurt and she just wanted to curl in a ball and sleep

"I'm sorry Arizona, I didn't know any of that otherwise I wouldn't have said anything. But I do still think you should talk to Callie, not to make her unhappy but for yourself, you've got all this bottled up and you need to get it off your chest" Arizona nodded, she knew she couldn't keep on like this, bottling everything up was slowly killing her

"Maybe, thanks for the talk but I just want to go home now" she grabs her stuff, leaves Bailey sitting on the couch and still in her scrubs walks out of the hospital. In true Seattle fashion it's started raining and she's soaked in a matter of seconds. Once she hops in her car she starts driving, not really sure where she's going, before she hopped in the car she was going home but once she started it she didn't want to, home meant being alone, she didn't want to go out, she couldn't really in her scrubs anyway, so she just drove.  
Nearly an hour later she looked around to see where she was and swore when she figured where she was. Slowing down and coming to a stop she looked out her window at the house that her marriage had fallen apart in, the house that shows evidence of another family living there, toys littering the yard, a basketball hoop over the garage and she can just picture those kids playing in the cubby out the back. Images of hers and Callie's life there flashed through her mind and in that moment she decided to do what she just told herself an hour ago she wouldn't.

Turning the car around it took her 20 minutes to get to Callies house, noticing all the lights off, she just hoped Penny wasn't staying the night. She picked up her phone, pressing her speed dial 1 and waited for it to connect

"Hm, hello?" Callies deep sleepy voice always did things to her and for a moment she forgot how to speak "Arizona?" she just realised Callie must've looked at the caller ID

"Hi, um sorry for waking you" she stutters

"Is everything ok? It's nearly 2am" she can hear Callie move around, probably sitting up, as she looks at the house she sees the bedroom dimly light up, obviously the lamp had turned on

"Um, kind of. I need to talk to you. Is Penny there?"

"No, she went to hers tonight, figured her staying the night the same night she met Sophia would be too soon"

"I'm outside. Can I come in? If not I understand, you did say its nearly 2. I didn't even realise, I'm sorry, you know what I'll just go, we can do this another day, or never. Sorry Calliope, I mean Callie, I'll just go" she goes to move the phone away and hang up

"WAIT ARIZONA" she hears and puts the phone back to her ear, looking out the window she sees the front door open "come in"

She sits for a moment before hanging up, just staring at Callie through the rain. Before she can change her mind again she gets out of the car, her damp scrubs get drenched again as she walks to the house. Slowly walking up the steps to the front door she stops before going inside, holding her arms around her waist, she stands there for a moment just looking Callie in, she's standing there in a tank and shorts and Arizona can't help but notice she isn't wearing a bra

"Shit Ari, come inside, I'll get you a towel" she pulls her inside before running off. Arizona can't do much except stand there, just smelling in the scent of Callie's house, that scent is the scent of home for her. "What are you doing here? Are you ok? I don't mean to sound rude but you look like shit. Come sit down" Callie startles her as she walked behind her, wrapping the towel around her shoulders and walks her to the couch

"Um.. I need to talk to you. I know we are only just co-parents now and maybe on good days we're friends but I just want you to know that I picture you, I will always picture you" she whispers the last part, fiddling with her hand

"Huh? Picture me what?" Callie frowns

"When Sophia kicks the winning goal, I picture you standing next to me cheering her on" she looks up and sees the moment Callie realises what she's talking about register

"No." she states "No, you don't get to do this Arizona, you don't get to come in here and tell me you see a future with me. Especially after everything that you said already today" Callie stands up and starts pacing "You don't get to come here at 2 am, nearly 2 years after we divorced and tell me these things"

"Oh, um. Ok." She stands up and places the towel on the coffee table "I just wanted you to know. I needed to get it off my chest, I'm sorry" she bows her head and starts towards the door, she's almost there before a hand on her arm stops her

"Wait. Was there more?" the question was whispered behind her, all she could do was nod. Callie dragged her back to the couch and sat down with her "continue"

"I don't think if you want to hear this though, you're happy and I want you to be happy"

"I can't be happy knowing your sad Ari" Callie runs her thumb where her hand is still on the blonde woman's arm

"I'm in love with you, I tried to move on, I swear I did but from the moment I kissed you, hell probably before that, in Joe's bar I knew you were the only one for me. The only one I'd be able to fully give my heart to and I did and you've still got it. Seeing you with Penny kills me but she makes you happy, apparently the happiest you've ever been, so I'll respect that. I'm not saying all this in hopes of us getting back together because I know you're not in love with me anymore, I'm saying this because I need to put it out there. I can't keep going on like this, having it all bottled up, I can learn to live with this but I just needed you to know and now you do so I'm going to go" she stands up

"Sit down" Callie blankly says so she sits "why now? Why after you telling me that you were fine with me introducing Penny to Sophia, why after not stopping me, why?" she started quietly yelling

"Because you're happy!" Arizona can't help but quietly yell back, it's amazing how they can still quietly fight so as to not wake their sleeping daughter "I made a promise to myself that I would always make you happy and I broke that promise, so now because I can't I don't say anything when someone else is doing my job"

"You broke us" Callie whispers

"I know, but you walked out. I tried Callie, I sat there telling you how much I needed you and you walked out"

"Exactly, you needed not wanted"

"You've got to be kidding me!" The blonde stood up and pointed at her "you left because you didn't understand how much you meant to me? I needed my wife and I will always want her but you obviously didn't feel the same." She sighed and sat back down "I'm sorry about how I treated you after the plane crash and I'm sorry I cheated on you then slept with Murphy when we had separated and I know words are just words but if we're going back to all this then I need to tell you the only reason I did all that was because I thought you didn't love me" she growls as the tears start, she's so over crying tonight

"You're joking right? Everything I did was out of love" Callie states sternly

"I know that now, but I thought you had cut my leg off. I didn't know you just made the call. After the sinkhole you told me that man couldn't cut his wives leg off because he loved her too much, then you led me to believe that you cut mine off." In that moment she see's everything click in Callie's mind, sees how she saw it, can see her feel what she felt

"Shit Ari, I never thought of that, I forgot about that conversation. I should've told you that it was Alex but I thought you'd need him, I thought you'd hate me for making the call and hate him for making the cut."

"I needed you Callie, I needed to cry on my wife's shoulder, I needed to talk about everything I was feeling to my wife, I needed your support but all I kept thinking was that you were only there out of obligation not love so I pushed you away, trying to make it easier for myself when you decided to leave me" the more she talked the harder her tears fell, the next thing she knew she was being pulled into Callie's arm, she quickly wrapped her arms around her not wanting to let go, breathing her in, feeling at home

"I'm sorry" it was said quietly but it was the first time when talking about her leg did Arizona truly believe Callie meant it. They sat like that for nearly 10 minutes, in silence, the only sound was their breathing and the ticking clock, finally the blonde decided to break it

"How was Sophia, did her head still hurt?"

"She started getting a headache before bed, I think her pain killers were wearing off so I gave her a half dose so she could get to sleep. I changed her bandage and it looks good, no infection or redness or anything" the brunette unconsciously started rubbing her hand up and down the crying womans back

"That's good. Did she um.. have fun getting ice cream?" Arizona whispered, not wanting to break the moment, taking in as much of this time as she can

"Yea, she got cookie dough, you know how much she loves it" she laughs

"That's not what I meant Calliope" Callie sucks in a breath when she hears her full name slip from the other woman's lips

"She liked Penny but didn't quite understand why her doctor came out for ice cream with us" silence envelopes them both again. "she told me she loved me last night"

"Oh" its all Arizona could say,

"I said thank you" the blonde looked up in shock

"Why? To be honest I thought you guys would've said it ages ago"

"Because despite what you think, I'm not over you." The brunette whispers, looking deeply into deep blue eyes "Penny makes me happy but nowhere near as happy as I was with you"

Arizona felt her breath catch, her heart beating rapidly "what are you saying Calliope? Because I don't think I can take any more hurt"

"I'm saying we've both grown over the last 2 years. You've learned to live without your leg, you've become a master in your speciality and every time I see you now, I see the Arizona from before the crash.  
I've grown too, I've learned who I am as a person, I've become more successful in my work with injured vets, I've done some amazing surgeries but I've also reconnected with my parents and sister, I've become a much happier person and I want to share that life with you. I settled for Penny, she's fun and makes me laugh but some nights I'll turn over and expect to see your blonde hair and am saddened when I see her red. So what I'm saying Arizona is that we have a lot about our past to talk about and after I talk to Penny and break things off with her I'm going to wait a respectable amount of time then ask you out on a date" she smiles bigger when she sees a bright dimpled smile and shiny blue eyes nodding in agreement

"I would definitely going to say yes to that date" they stare into each other's eyes before blue eyes seek out dark lips "I want to kiss you" she whispers

"Then kiss me, but that's all we're doing, except going to bed to sleep" she leans forward and as their lips meet Arizona can't help but feel like she's home. Her day has been full of ups and downs but from this moment she knows she won't be lonely ever again.


End file.
